Tough Times

I’m an emotional wreck right now. The Wildcats have lost three of their last four, Pac 10 title hopes are seemingly slipping away, and shades of last year’s squad are starting to appear in a team that was oh-so-fun to watch just over two weeks ago. Finger pointing is running rampant. The sky is falling. The sky is falling.

So to honor this mood, I’ve decided to compile a list of things that I don’t like.

• “Double Nickels” - Or, more accurately, “every word that comes out of Bob Elliott’s mouth.” El Cinco Cinco is an unstoppable force, a match up nightmare, and the most dependable player in college basketball. Double Nickels is a liability. Double Nickels decides to hang out around the perimeter way too much and attempts ill-advised three pointers in crucial situation after making awkward double-pump fakes. The “Double Nickels” nickname is obviously affecting Ivan’s performance. From this point on, let’s make sure to refer to him only by his rauraur.com approved monikers: El Cinco Cinco, Rad, the Rad-man, Raddy, or the Radmobile (a Reid Strohmier original). Someone please forward this to Bob Elliott.
• Having “NCAAW” on the ESPN BottomLine - “Stanford beat Oregon 70-48!?!?” Is the audience for women’s basketball large enough to warrant scrolling updates 24/7 or do the folks in Bristol just enjoy messing with my head? Maybe there are gamblers out there who are so degenerate that they need to know women basketball scores at all times. If these people exist, I want to hang out with them.
• The “No Fruit in Beer” Man Law - I love the entire Man Law campaign but if squeezing an entire lime into a beer (after pouring it on ice and adding generous amounts of salt and maybe a drop or two of hot sauce) is unmanly, call me Sissy Spacek.
• Wisconsin - How does a team get manhandled by the worst Arizona squad in decades during last year’s NCAA tourney then add nobody and become the number two team in the country?
• Greg Hansen’s article in today’s Daily Star - I let this guy get under my skin way too much. Reading his football season articles is like shoving bamboo shoots under my fingernails. He’s just so negative. Basketball season is usually a little bit easier, it’s hard to be pessimistic when you’re writing about one of the country’s top tier basketball programs, but he certainly managed to do so today. Sure, it’s not as bad as his “don’t expect to rush the field today” 2006 homecoming article but I still find today’s prognosis unnecessarily bleak.
• My new “Mustafa Shakur is the Rex Grossman of college basketball” theory - it’s probably the most Greg Hansian thought I’ve ever had, but I have a pretty good idea of how Bears fans feel when Rex is under center.
• Kevin Durant - The NBA age limit is amazing (after all, we got Chase Budinger) but I just wish they made an exception for Durant. I realize he’s an amazing talent but I’m sick of the “who would you draft with the first pick?” conversations. Why doesn’t anyone mention that, despite his gaudy stat line’s, his play is not equating wins? Maybe it’s not Durant I dislike but his coach, Rick Barnes. I would have loved to see Kevin play under Lute Olson.
• Gilbert Arenas, media darling extraordinaire - Obviously I love that Agent Zero is playing out of his mind and is getting Jordan-like praise left and right, but every time I see that he put up thirty or made a "walk off" game winner, I can’t help but think of the fact that if he doesn’t go for that 6th steal against Michigan State in the 2001 semi-final, he doesn’t play injured against Duke and McKale has two National Championship banners hanging from its rafters. Argh...
• Lorenzo Mata - Is it me or does he look like he belongs in the Geico "Caveman" ads? Or at least in an awkward testimonial for a DUI lawyer advertisement.

Speaking of Mata, I can’t wait to see how the Wildcats handle the underdog role in today’s game against UCLA.

Bear Down and beat the Bruins