Signing Heroes

I've never been that into tabloids. I don't really care why Justin dropped Brittany, what Jen has to say about Angelina, or whether or not Tom and Katie are having a test tube baby. I've never seen the point in dedicating hours of my time to following the personal lives of strangers and second-guessing their decisions. This changed, however, when I started following the recruitment of high school athletes. Imagine you're checking out at the supermarket and, where there used to be gossip magazines, you see headlines like "Why Tukuafu dropped Arizona", "What Stoops has to say about Bellotti", and "Gronkowsi Committed, Baby!!" I don't do much shopping (that's what women are for) but I'll tell you this, put some recruiting tabloids in the checkout line and I'm running through the aisles like Welfare Willie on Supermarket Sweep.

Sure I should find better things to do with my time than trying to decipher which way Fickle Frankie Four-Star is leaning from a quote like, "Oh yeah, I like the academics at Arizona and the coaches, yeah, they're real cool. And the academics at Mid-Northwestern Utah A&M State? Yeah, they're cool too. So are the coaches." But what can I say, I'm a sucker for that sort of stuff. So, given this obsession with seventeen-year-old aspiring All-Americans, it goes without saying that I attended Signing Day with Stoops last Wednesday.

And what a day it was. First of all, they feed you. And I'm not talking slimy cold cuts on cocktail napkins-the event is catered by an amazing barbeque restaurant (Dave's Famous BBQ, I believe). These guys pack plates of pork so high you'd think their previous job involved feeding Velociraptors at Jurassic Park. (By the way, do you think every drunken argument Michael Crichton gets in with his buddies ends with "Oh yeah, how many best selling novels have you written that lead to the naming of an NBA franchise? Yeah, that's what I thought!" Man, that Michael Crichton is a real a-hole.)

And as if the food wasn't enough, you get an appearance by the University of Arizona Cheerleaders (who, given their lack of height, always seem to sneak up on you, catching you off guard so you're tricked into buying one of their overpriced calendars). You are also allowed to walk around the awe-inspiring Eddie Lynch Athletic Pavilion and listen to Mike Stoops describe the abilities of every member of the 2007 recruiting class. In other words, it's the closest you can get to being a booster without owning a car dealership. And I'm sure that other schools hold more impressive signing day events (I heard that at LSU, the day after signing day is an unofficial holiday and nobody shows up to work. This is surprising because if you told me that any resident of Baton Rouge, Louisiana actually had a job, I'd call you a liar. There's no way they dedicate that much time, effort, travel, and liver expense to Tiger Football AND still work a nine to five every weekday. It's not humanly possible) but no matter how you cut it, you can't lose with signing day.

The 2007 Arizona Football recruiting class, for example, features four to five players who were universally sought after, so it's downright impossible not to get excited about them. But they aren't the stars of signing day... the sleepers are.

Take William "Bug" Wright, for example. Apparently, as told during the event, Jim Click asked the Stoops brothers to check out this kid from I-knew-I-shoulda-made-that-left-at-Albuquerque, Oklahoma. So, as a favor to Mr. Click, Mike and Mark agreed to consider signing an unknown kid who spent most of his high school career playing eight-man football. Can you imagine what the boys were thinking when they flew out to pay this young man a visit? Well, it's a good thing Mr. Click sells so many cars because after watching him play, the Stoops' offered William immediately. And when I saw his highlights on signing day, it's easy to see where Wright gets his nickname-Mr. Miyagi would tie his chopsticks in a knot before he ever caught this "Bug."

Now, will "Bug" ever live up to the Signing Day expectations I've set for him (I obviously went home and created a Playstation version of Wright on EA Sports' NCAA Football 2007. He's won three Heismans since)? Probably not. But if he doesn't "pan out", we have Nicholas "I can pull off that Reggie Bush vs. Fresno State move in my sleep" Grigsby, Hans "I made five-star USC commit, Kris O'Dowd look foolish in my highlight tape" Phillip, and Bryson "all great quarterbacks come from Hawaii" Beirne.

Everyone is a hero on Signing Day.

So who will be a hero on game days? I dunno. Will the Tuihalamaka cousins one day lead the Pac 10's best defense? (Shoulder shrug) Will Rob Gronkowski make the immediate impact our offense so desperately needs? I sure hope so. Will William Wright "bug" ASU to the point of four straight defeats? Beats me. All those things are Stoops' job. I'm just here for the barbeque and the tabloid fodder.

But I'll tell you one day, until they prove otherwise, they're all heroes to me.

Bear Down and Beat the Trojans